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Redmond on Camping | The Redmond Files

Redmond doesn't like camping, here's why.

I despise camping, and four wheel driving. Muppets pay a king’s ransom for some terribly slow diesel piece of crap so they can go out and sit with the blow flies, mozzies, lizards and red rocks.

If he is lucky he puts a winch on the 4WD and can do 2km/h in the bush. I like off-roading as long as I got a minimum 450cc, two wheels, 500mm of suspension travel and a pipe as noisy as Angus.

Worst holiday ever is camping. I like the beach and central coast of NSW holiday. Book into a cheap beachside motel and spend my days swimming, hunting good pizza and outstanding pasta. Send wife off each day to stimulate the economy at the mall. I spend the morning with newspaper in sun with good coffee, muffin then milkshake.

When the yard arm hits the noon head off I go to explore the local pub’s beer taps. Maybe catch a car show or band. Go look at HSV dealer or bike shop, or go cruise through a guitar shop or two.

The pursuit of a good local deli on the coast is a true and righteous calling for us that worship pastrami and cheeses.

The good thing about camping trailers, roof top tents and kerosene Cadillacs is they keep miners out of good pubs and amongst the dust and blow flies of the inland. Anyone would think kangaroos have double-D tits or blowflies are worth a buck a piece…